“Until our attitude toward life changes; until we are able to make a new and stringent commitment to the quality of life; until we practice what so many only give lip service to, and we redefine our concepts of life and love, our society’s problems will not be solved.”
~~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, On Children and Death: A Touching and Inspired Work about How Children and Their Parents can Cope with Death.
A lot of people want to throw everything that Elisabeth Kubrler-Ross did out, like the baby with the bath water. I think that’s pretty ignorant. Especially after I’ve gone back and re-read some of her books … not articles about her work, not critiques of her work, but the actual writing.
I don’t care who she was as a person. We all have our demons. We all have our angelic side. As professionals, it’s hard to be human and be in the public eye.
But, I look at it this way… the woman bought a farm for children with AIDS to live so that they could be safe and well cared for at the end of their life. Really? Could a person be that bad if they were willing to do this in a time (though not that different than today) when there was so much stigma and hatred around the disease?
I would like to say that I never experienced the stigma. I told anyone who asked what my red ribbon was for and never blinked. And I was living in Nashville, TN. But, I tend to say things that other’s don’t want to hear.
But I did see the stigma, how people looked at my brother when we took him to the store.. he just wanted to get out of the house because he had been too sick to leave for 2-3 weeks. And people would turn around and go down another isle.
I heard from patients that their parents left them food on the step of a mobile home, on a farm, where animals would scurry around the disposable plates. Why were they in a mobile home? The parents didn’t want them in the house.
But I think that Elisabeth was brilliant in some ways and I think we have to take what she gave the world and accept the things that weren’t as brilliant or that were misunderstood.
In the quote above, I see such wisdom. So much hinges on how we see the world, what we think about the ill, the aging, what dying should be about, and what healthcare and the government’s role is in our lives.
Our fear of death and talking about it, like we’re going to make it happen quicker if we talk about it, is why the APA can get away with their crazy diagnosis, why we don’t have more funding for palliative care separate from hospice care, and why when Universal Health Care was in the works people could be duped into thinking that there would be death panels.
We have an obligation to ourselves, our loved ones, our society, and future generations to look at our fear of dying, of illness, of difficult discussions and tough-to-deal with feelings. But what’s the price we pay for turning a blind eye to these situations?
The health and stability of our planet.
Note: I will be away on retreat for the next week. I wish you all well and I hope you enjoy the articles that I have left in my stead.
May sorrow show us the way to compassion
May I realize grace in the midst of suffering
May I be peaceful and let go of expectations.
May I receive the love and compassion of others.
With love and deep gratitude, Jennifer
- Who is the real Elisabeth Kubler-Ross??? (namasteconsultinginc.com)
- Peace? (namasteconsultinginc.com)
- Whose Denial Is It Anyway? (namasteconsultinginc.com)
- Stages are for the theatre…. (namasteconsultinginc.com)
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