Comments on: Q & A: Grief in the Workplace

By: Lessons « Namaste Consulting Inc.

Lessons « Namaste Consulting Inc. — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 11:27:01 +0000

[...] Q & A: Grief in the Workplace (namasteconsultinginc.com) [...]

By: valleyroadrambler

valleyroadrambler — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 10:11:09 +0000

Reblogged this on Valley Road Rambler and commented: Guest post today, from a blogger whose very sensible and sensitive approach to speaking with survivors I find very refreshing and insightful. Here, Jennifer addresses the difficult subject of Grief in the Workplace - how to talk with your co-workers who are grieving. She makes some excellent points and I agree with all of them. Bottom line: when faced with a tragic loss, care and share concern for your co-worker, and be prepared to listen. Read the comments at the original post too: very interesting.

By: Namaste Consulting Inc

Namaste Consulting Inc — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 17:22:18 +0000

We’re all in this together Wendy, right?! That’s why how we learn to love and then, grieve. No one teaches us how to live through that later though. So, we breathe in and out and remember that we are One.
Thanks for the fellowship and sisterhood.
Let’s hope we change the world, breath by breath.

Peace, Jen

By: Wendy

Wendy — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 15:18:15 +0000

Reblogged this on MeaningfulWesternLife and commented: Jennifer's Namaste Consulting blog is a very special one that I want to share with you all. She shares her expertise on dealing with grief. Something everyone can truly benefit from now or in the future.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 15:14:46 +0000

Jennifer,

I feel so honored that you mentioned my blog here. Truly honored. Your blog is one that I love to follow and when I see a notifications from your posts it is always helpful and inspiring.

What you are doing to help others goes beyond what one might imagine. I know I have forwarded your posts to my friends that needed your wisdom and I’m sure the ripple effect is huge. For me, I don’t have any significant grief in my life at the moment but I know that one day I will, and that your wisdom will be there for me when I need it most.

Reading this post brought tears to my eyes as you described how all these bloggers you haven’t met have touched your life. Whenever I have any doubt that my blog is worth doing, I will re-read your post.

You are a gift, thank you Jennifer,
~Wendy

By: Namaste Consulting Inc

Namaste Consulting Inc — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 14:12:12 +0000

You are exactly right Lori! If you’re in it for the gossip or because you think you have to be nice, walk away.
I didn’t even think to say that. I guess I can’t imagine that but I am sure it goes on.
I like your idea about having several sympathy cards. I have platinum status at Hallmark and it is because I always make sure I have a stack of bereavement cards. I get a monthly statement that tells me how much I need to keep my status and get some coupons. I get whatever I need, a birthday or anniversary card, and then the rest of my points go to sympathy cards. . . I never leave a Hallmark without one and if by chance I find a real winner, I usually buy them out of it.
And yes, if we can be there in the long run, keeping that door open is so important. . . there may be parts of our story that we don’t want to have to retell again and again so if we have a stable and caring friend that we can share what is immediately in our hearts, without having to back track, that is a true gift.
We do need to be aware of our boundaries and our heart . . . can we be there unselfishly? Can we hold their heart (and ours)?
I really appreciate your wise words Lori!
Metta, Jennifer

By: Alzheimer's Speaks

Alzheimer's Speaks — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 14:00:12 +0000

Great post. Very important points you made. Thank you.
I would like to add one word to give high consideration to that I feel is ery important to a person who is grieving. Are you “safe” for the person to talk to?
Can you be trusted to be respectful and honor them?
Is the environment a safe place for conversation?
What are your true motives for wanting to engage I this conversation?
What has your past history been with this person?
For example
If your the office gossip and offering to go be there for them in any way during thier time of loss you maybe adding to their grief by offering them an unsafe place to disclose. Know the person can feel like circus side show He or she has to do additional work on their part to evaluate will you honor this extremely personal moment with or are you making this offer to get the scoop so you can be the first to spread the details.
Many times people share with a complete stranger as it is “safe”. They don’t need to worry if they will be judged or if their intimate disclosure will be held against them in the future as with a stranger there are no plans up front to have a future with them.
So be honest what are your motives?
Is it to be the first reporter on the seen?
Is it that you think if they talk the grief will pass and you will feel better as their loss makes you feel uncomfortable?
Or are you ready to be in The moment? To be compassionate and totally present in Their moment of personal grief and loss, blessings and tales?
Know what makes you tick
Be conscious of how you make your offer.
Be respectful they may need time to evaluate are you safe and are they ready to talk.
If you are sincere about being supportive don’t give up on them.
Don’t get upset and make this about you if they tell someone else first. It was probably just timing. Be grateful they had a source to reveal to when they needed it
Understand they will most likely need to share their story multiple times
Leave the door open for them in the future. Example
How many sympathy cards do you purchase ? Most people buy one, which is nice but how about buying more. Get a pile of thinking about you cards to send every week or two over the next few months to let them know they are for them. That their loss is important to you and you are keeping them in you prayers and thoughts. Help them feel safe, comfortable and confident to talk when the time is right for them
I hope there aren’t too many typos I’m writing this on my phone. LOL
Again Keep up the great work!

By: Namaste Consulting Inc

Namaste Consulting Inc — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 13:15:52 +0000

Thanks so much Doug! It is great to get that affirmation. Hopefully others will find comfort from those of us who are not afraid to talk about illness, dying, and grief.
Your site is a beautiful tribute to the love that you and Traci have and how you carry it in the very “now”. What an honor!

Metta, Jennifer

By: valleyroadrambler

valleyroadrambler — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 12:20:22 +0000

Thank you for sharing and connecting. I couldn’t agree more. As a person grieving, I do want to share my story. I appreciate people telling me that they care … and it doesn’t have to be through words.