In Griefquest: Men Coping with Loss by Robert J. Miller, Miller offers this list of rules for men on the journey of grief. I think that these meditations are as appropriate to females as they are males and they are focused on helping those who grieve in a thinking, analytical way. He suggests that you use them in the following way: Read them daily, meditate on them slowly, one by one, reflect on the wisdom they contain, and offer your grief work to God in prayer in whatever words or format feel right for you.
“The Cardinal Rules of Crisis:
In case of crisis, read this first!
When life seems overwhelming . . . When nothing else around you seems to work. . . When grief, loss, loneliness, fear, worry, anger, or any other negative emotion seems to be washing over you like an uncontrollable flood. . . Then it is the time to remember. . .
You will survive despite your pain. All feelings are transitory and will pass.
Self-hatred is a lie. Self-pity is ultimately useless. Do not wallow in them.
You are still beloved, valuable, and worthwhile in God’s eyes, despite what you feel about yourself. Your dignity and self-worth are unchanged by outer circumstances.
One day at a time! Our hour at a time! One minute at a time if need be!
Postpone any important life decision until later. Wait until the sense of loss or pain lifts a bit.
Structure helps maintain sanity. Though it may seem flat, dull, and empty, continue with your work and your personal daily routine. Keep on keepin’ on! Hope will triumph in the end!”