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“We’re fascinated by the words–but where we meet is in the silence behind them.”
~ Ram Dass
Silence can be such a precious commodity. There seems to be so little of it in today’s world. Even going to a nearby state park, thinking I can run away and forget the world, and I hear the sounds of the traffic from the highway rushing by the park.
Maybe it’s because I am so introverted that I love silence and am comfortable with it? Maybe it’s the years of meditation? Or training as a therapist. Coming from a small family? Who knows, but I really do like it.
Silence can take on so many flavors and nuances if one can stand it long enough to touch it. Right now, I work at a job where silence could be fostered much more than it is. There are many situations with the clients that we work with where silence would be soothing and deflate situations that become volatile. But silence is the last thing that is thought about, let alone practiced, when we have our agenda of where we need to be and how things should happen rather than letting things unfold before us.
There is such beauty in being able to sit with someone and being so comfortable in your self that you don’t need to fill the space with words. Sometimes it’s just that that you can be present to the experience of the anxiety that accompanies the long pauses but I think that is an acquired gift.
Silence can be such a precious gem that we can bestow upon someone. . . a client, an aging relative, someone whose heart has been shredded by grief, or someone is who dying. There’s no distraction in silence, no busy-ness, no nonsense. Silence is intimate as two people sit in a starkness and nakedness that can be some uncomfortable and yet might be just the thing that two people are craving — the acceptance that comes with that being-with in silence.
My role is to often be silent with the person I am with. . . to hold a hand, to sit attentively, to bear withness to a person’s story or experience. Meditation is an ideal practice for slowing down and opening the heart. One learns, through practice, acceptancce of one’s own thoughts, feelings, and sensations. One practices having a gentle touch with that which comes into consciousness.
We learn not to get swept away, but to allow an idea or a feeling to come up and release it after labeling it. We learn to have compassion for the unending streams that our are brains create. And it is in fostering this acceptance that we can cultivate this openness for another person.
So much can be created in silence, just think about the phrase a pregnant pause. Things gestate and grow and become when they have light and space.
As we practice silence with others, we allow them the room to grow before us and in doing so, the roots of that experience grow to unimaginable depths.
You are so right silence is very under rated. I remember going on a retreat where it was so peaceful. We did 24 hours of silence which I thought would be difficult but I found.my whole being loved it and I wished we had gone silent for a few days. The difficult part for me was returning to the “real world”. I think it took me 2 weeks to readjust to all the noise so much of it senseless. It was an extremely profound experience and I would encourage anyone to try to work more quiet time in their day
Lori, I am so glad that you shared that. Very similar to an experience I had in 2003 when I did a 5 day retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh and about 100 of his monastics.
I remember being so excited to be there because of it being the first retreat I went on with Thay.
Everything seemed so big and visually stunning. I seemed to be so sensitive and open to everything. And with that came pain that I didn’t know I was carrying. I cried so much. It was that I was sad or that awful things were coming up for me. It was more like it was such a relief that I could be in a space where I could relax into a softened space, that I did not need to be so well guarded and protected. Everything seemed worthy of tears. . . the morning sunrise as we did walking meditation. The sound of Sister Chan Khong singing. It was all so really touching and I think that was the first time I truly understood that statement — to be touched by something.
I’d love to hear how you continue to foster that silence in your every day life.
Peace Lori!
Jennifer
One of my favorite songs from the ’60s was the one done by Simon and Gafunkel, “Silence is Golden.”
It spoke to me as a young man, but I did not fully understand it until years later when looking back and realizing its time-honored truth.
Reading your words brings a similar, welcomed silence to my heart.
Thank you!
michael j.
Conshohocken, PA USA
Hi Michael. Thanks for the post. I love finding lessons in the simplest and most unexpected places. . . a turn of a phrase, a song, a quote someone has posted on something like facebook.
I also love how our experience grows deeper of some things, like yours with this song. Something that catches our ear at one point in our life can have such profound depth at another point. I find that even friends are sometimes like that. . . you know someone for a long time but something happens and there is a shift in your perception and there can be a greater kindness or empathy that is visited.
I glad that this post touched you and reminded you of the importance of silence. I hope you always find it sustaining, enriching, and comforting.
I love silence and seek out moments…or hours…whenever/wherever I can…I find it soooo soothing…. I find silence so precious…. I’m not usually in the woods, but when i am, the silence in the woods can seem so….limitless…it’s amazing. thanks for bringing my attention to how much I do appreciate it… : )
I have to say that I love getting so many comments about silence. This really does my heart some good. We live in a very noisy world that really reinforces us for making a lot more noise.
I am amazed at how so many dislike and really hate silence, especially in the presence of another person. Maybe it’s too intimate? Maybe it’s too revealing? But I find it can be one of the greatest gifts we can give someone. And I love that it has given so many of you gifts that you are willing to share here.
With great joy!
I”m adding this “stillness” one too…words from Jampa….I hope I don’t get sent to the spam folder with these links….???? : )
http://reflectionsfromafriend.wordpress.com/2011/05/20/520-to-become-aware-of-the-stillness-within/